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fifth april.

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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

haven been doing anything much. yknow how is feels when you know you got a hell lot of things undone that are due the next week and yet ure not doing anything cos although u feel damn screwed u just dont feel like waking up and do them? sometimes i just feel like giving myself a slap on my face to wake me up. go on like this im not gng to get 65% overall this year and im not gng over to hwachong. something i would like to keep reminding myself.
you need to cross that bridge.

feeling really screwed cos im feeling really down and i finally realised what chit and zouzhao and everybody is talking about when they ask why do i look so sad. can you believe it even my aunt asked me the same question yesterday when the family and folks are out for dinner to celebrate mother's day. "why do you always look so moody?"

just cant bring myself to smile. perhaps thats all i can say. just feel like stoning and moping around feeling sorry for myself and feeling real pathetic. wondering about life. what have i actually been doing all these years. studyingstudyingstudying. waiting for the night cos tmr will be another day we'll all go to school and the whole cycle will repeat itself. striving for that 65% so we can all cross the bridge proudly. the problem is we are doing what we are doing cos we have to do it. AHH DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. EVEN I DONT.

nicole's post expressed how i have always been feeling. but i never really thot much of it. now come to think of it it's pretty true.

"sigh.i think no words can express how i'm feeling so you'll probably not understand what i'm saying right now.
sometimes i feel so stressed.but life seems so relaxing.there seems to be so many things to worry about.yet those things seem so insignificant.i just want to give up sometimes.and at the same time life seems so exciting.i want to do so many things.but life just doesn't permit me to do so.and there are so many more.but there's no point in typing them out.DO YOU UNDERSTAND.EVEN I DON'T."

thats how im feeling. always been feeling. sometimes you just want to give up, but at the same time life seems so exciting and ure anticipating how ur life is gng to turn out. i understand, nicole. i really do. thanks for saying what i have always wanted to say. cheerup okay nicole. remember we have a promise.

i saw this on the tvee days ago. "the happiness you get from ur life is definitely going to be much less from the agony you are going to suffer. yet everyone still strives on cos they know that that small degree of happiness is all going to be worth it. worth everything." thats so so true. thats what all of us are doing arent we?

it's going to be a tough week ahead. i can predict im going to be dealt yet another blow tmr morning.
wheres my pillar of support. i need you. yes you. you.

you;